My caregiving days are over, what now?

Dear Doris,

I have spent the past five years caring for my chronically ill father. He passed away just a few months ago. I'm finding life very different these days, and it has been very difficult for me to adjust to life after caregiving. Do you have any suggestions on how to handle this challenging transition? I'm curious to know if other former caregivers have found life after caregiving to be a challenge, also.

 Any suggestions/resources are appreciated!

 Darlene F.

Dear Darlene,

Thanks so much for submitting this question. Life after caregiving is something that we just don’t pay enough attention to.

I too am still struggling with moving from being a full-time caregiver to everyday life after the loss of my husband a year and a half ago. It is difficult to transition back into day-to-day life, I think, because as caregivers we often put our prior interests, friendships, and work on the back burner to immerse ourselves in caring for those we love. To this day, I dread weekends, special occasions, and holidays. I have sought the counsel of a therapist and friends. Some days I feel like I have my feet firmly planted on the ground, and it feels good. Other days, I feel like I am just trying to get by and floundering with the challenge of filling my time and facing the inevitable loneliness.

My heart goes out to you and the millions of caregivers who sooner or later will have to deal with loss and reimagine their lives. I never thought it would be this hard.

One way NYSCRC is trying to help is by putting together a webinar specifically for former caregivers who are transitioning back to day-to-day life. Our goal is to acknowledge what a complex and difficult transition this is and highlight how former caregivers are navigating or have navigated their way through it. As a matter of fact, we are looking for input from people just like you and from those who are a few years beyond caregiving. We would love to hear concerns, thoughts, suggestions – anything related to post caregiving. You can find the brief questionnaire here.

This article from the Caregiver Action Network may offer some support to you during this time. In addition, if you are a Facebook user, many have found this online community helpful.

I hope knowing that you are not alone on this new journey is of some comfort, and I encourage you and other former caregivers to take a moment to answer a few questions and plan to join us in November for our webinar.

All the best,

Doris