Organizing mom’s finances

Dear Doris,

I just moved in with my aging mom because the family is concerned for her wellbeing and doesn’t feel she should be living alone any longer. I don’t have a handle on her finances, and I don’t even know if she has will.

Where do I begin?

Thank you for your help,

Janice K.

Dear Janice,

It sounds like you are on the beginning of a caregiving journey. Your mom is fortunate to have a family member who can make the move into her home to keep her safe and comfortable.  It can be a tough road, but there are many resources and services available that can help.

Let’s start with the question at hand.  AARP has a great resource for this very situation. 5 Steps to Organize Your Loved One’s Finances can be found on the Caregiving page here.

It begins with a comprehensive list of questions that you review with your mom to begin to get a full picture of the situation. There are also tips on how to organize the information and when and how you should use it.

Once you have the basic information about her income, you can begin to explore the many options available to assist with care. Generally the first place to start is your County Office for the Aging or NYConnects, a free, statewide New York program providing comprehensive information and assistance for long-term services and support for people of all ages, disabilities, and caregivers. As a "No Wrong Door" network, it connects individuals to home care, transportation, meals, and benefits to help them live independently in their community. 

It is good practice to review all legal and financial planning annually. Circumstances change; it’s just a fact of life. Asking your mom about her wishes and ensuring that her will, Power of Attorney and Health Care Proxy are up to date are of the utmost importance.

Don’t let the task overwhelm you, take it a little at a time. Perhaps there is another family member that might be willing to take on the financial and planning piece. Just a reminder that other people don’t know what we need, unless we tell them. If you can, share the load, it is a heavy one and no one should go it alone.

Wishing you the best in your journey ahead.

Doris