I want mom to come live with me

Dear Doris,

My dad passed about 10 years ago and mom, now 86, has been on her own since then. I live in a neighboring state and feel strongly that it's time she comes and lives with our family. I know she has some solid friendships and a good community where she is, but I can tell that her physical and mental health are declining. Can you offer any advice or resources? I hope I'm making the right decision, to bring her to live with us.

P.S. I am an only child, so there are no siblings to consider in the mix.

Sincerely,

Linda R.

Dear Linda,

Thank you for this question. Please know that you are not alone. With Americans living longer, many people today face a similar situation. You are wise to give deliberate thought to the decisions before you. They can impact your family, your finances, and even your health. They can also impact your mother and her independence and health.

When trying to decide if moving a parent to a new living situation is the right thing to do, the Family Caregiver Alliance recommends this first step: Have an open and honest discussion with that parent and any other family members that this decision affects, including your spouse and children. Consider the level of care needed, possible lifestyle changes, your employer’s policies, and finances. For a complete list of recommended steps, the Family Caregiver Alliance website can be found here. https://www.caregiver.org/resource/home-away-home-relocating-your-parents/?via=search

We hope with careful thought and open communication, you will make a decision that works best for everyone.

Doris